H2O

So...
I was thinking about water. How it relates to humans, how it is used by humans, how it affects humans, and just water’s physical properties. I thinking about how water seems to have a profound impact upon us. I grew up just having this very natural desire--for lack of a better word– of being in water. Maybe its because my mother had me swimming at a very early age (well more like her holding me while I kicked and blew bubbles). But as long as I can remember, I’ve always spent the majority of my summer in the pool at all times. It seems very peaceful whenever I am engulfed in water.

I was in a very thoughtful and maybe overwhelming mood last night. For the last couple of days I’ve just felt bombarded with this constant flow of ideas. I can’t seem to stop or resolve any of these constant thoughts. I guess I’ve just been overwhelmed with my analytic thought process and not being able to reach any conclusion was further driving me into an even more analytic stage. So last night I was just sick of this feeling and was just emotional to the point of tears, so I decided to take a shower. My best friend growing up would always take showers when she needed to cry, so I thought I would give it a try and then I wouldn’t be around anybody while I was crying, so maybe I could just think and clear my head. As soon as I got into my shower and the water was running, I just sat down and had the water running over me. As strange as this sounds, I started feeling better already. I just sat there for awhile. Then suddenly I had this thought/flashback of my baptism in August of ‘95. As I was remembering that event, I was thinking about how water is the perfect medium for baptism. I was thinking about how water is used to clean our bodies. And following this cleansing, this sensation of cleanliness just engulfs us. This is just what we are promised when we decide to embrace Jesus and start following him. We are promise that our sins are washed as white as snow. Notice how the verb washed is used. It implies the use of water (or at least water with some solvent in it). So I was in my shower thinking about how this water running over me is helping me wash away some of these feelings. So after my introspective shower, I came out feeling better. Now I haven’t stopping thinking about these categories I’ve been wrestling with, but I feel that my head is a little clearer.

As I was walking to the cafeteria to write all of this, I noticed the large pool of water by our cabin. Its just this large pond that is in the middle of this large stream, so water is constantly flowing into and out of it. Due to the large amount of rain last night, the water level seemed to be at the highest point I’ve noticed this summer. As a result of this high water level, the natural tide of water creating a whirlpool became more visible. Due to the more narrow opening where the water leaves the pool, some water is stopped from leaving the pool and starts circling opposite the stream of the river. It flows very slowly backward and eventually joins the stronger current and then flows past the pool continuing on the river’s path. As I was watching this phenomenon (which the foam makes more pronounced) I was thinking about how often water is used as a metaphors for our lives, or just the process of living. I wonder if these metaphors are created due to the chemical properties of liquid water. Its very flexible and fluid just like our lives.

As I was watching this whirlpool I started thinking of my last academic year and the last couple of years in my life. I feel like I was just floating down the river trying to live my life in the way I felt God would desire me to live, and then I reached the end of that pool......and I wasn’t ready to go past it yet. I don’t feel like I’ve been continuing down the stream, but I was moving even though it was backwards; however I don’t think this process of going backward is a bad thing. I think its just been preparing me for the end of the pool and the waterfall that follows it. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last year. I’ve had to spend some quality time by myself (some willingly some not). I’ve also realized what I can become when I’m not focused on the correct things. I spent way to much time focused on my grades and my job which resulted in me forgetting the important things of learning, growing, making friends, laughing, and most importantly learning more about my Maker and His plans for me. I’m not sure what those are, but I feel like I’m back in the flow toward the end of the pool and getting ready for the waterfall. I have no idea how long this journey toward the falls might take, but I think that God has really start preparing me for what ever this might be. I also think I’m starting to maybe get a glimpse of why I’ve the last couple of years have gone the way they have and how they were getting me ready for what’s to come. I can’t say that everything I’ve done is what God desired me to do, yet I feel like a lot of what I did has helped me change for the best and also help me grasp a better sense of who I am. So here comes the current, I just hope it isn’t too late.
-Kristy