love......?!?

Voltaire has a quote saying "It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue."

I have to admit when I found that quote I laughed rather hard. I think that would be a great phrase for a Valentine Card. I'll have to make one and patent it! The word relationship and all of the surrounding connotations has been on my mind lately. I decided to kind of throw myself back into the dating realm lately and have found that things are much more complex then when I was dating in high school. It is amazing to me how many different reasons people seem have when desiring a dating relationship with a person of the opposite sex (or even the same sex for some I know).

When in high school, it was pretty simple because dating mainly entailed of hanging out with your friends, going to dances together, talking on the phone, and spending some time alone when your parents allowed it or when you were able to sneak away for a couple of hours. But now, the idea of dating isn't that easy. The average college student is stressed and looking to the future, so starting a relationship can be for all sorts of reasons, ranging from the physical-stress-reliever kind to the I-want-to-find-some-one-to-marry kind. And I guess one thing I've realized is that the guy doesn't seem to just come up to you and say, "Hey, I just want to talk to you for awhile to confuse you as to what my intentions are, act like I'm really interested, make you realize how sweet I can be, and then I stop answering your calls, acting like I never knew you. Sound good?" I think I would appreciate the frankness much more than the person doing just that. And I hope I don't sound bitter! I'm just a little frustrated.

Should a girl just continue to wait for her Mr. Darcy to knock on her door or does she really have to put up with the Mr. Wickhams, Mr. Willoughbys and other scoundrels before she can find and fully appreciate the one for her.

I spent a week this summer during which most of the nights were spent in conversations with many college girls contemplating all of the issues involving marriage. Our boss had posed the thought to us that God may have planned for us not to have husbands, which truly broke our hopeless romantic hearts. I do feel like girls are all brought up thinking it is only a matter in time before our shining knight on a horse rescues us like in the old Arthurian tales. I always thought it was so interesting how Paul was very adamant in the Bible mentioning that it is better for people to stay unmarried. These statements very abrasive to the Disney movie damsel in distress plots.

How in the world does a person go about deciding for themselves what kind of actions to take on these types of issues? For the last two years, I didn't think about it much. I just pushed it all toward the back of my head and concentrated on clarifying my wishes for the future, my values, and establishing myself as an adult.

As of late, I've been thinking about it more and resulted in reading a lot from Song of Songs, a book called Sex God (which the title makes it sound much dirtier than its innocent contents), observing other people in their relationships, and most of all contemplating the purpose and value of it all. I guess much like my stance on alcohol from my last blog, the jury still seems to be out. I certainly see nearly all of the advantages and negatives, but most of all wonder if I am selling myself short. I have never wanted to be perceived as a girl that is codependent, so I have taken many actions to show that I am independent and strong. I just wonder if I am avoiding the issue due to its complex nature. I know I'll keep struggling with this one for awhile. I guess I just wanted to admit to my blog what I've been really preoccupied with during the last month. I'm not sure I'm really asking for comments on this one....but feel free if you wanna. I'll just leave with this thought. May we all continue to work on the situations that are complex and not just take the easy position of ignoring them. I know I'm trying to fight this one. Love you all.
-Kristy