painting...

Friday I was in my room by 11:30 with my classes already being done for the day and couldn't decided what to do. I knew I had all sorts of time and nothing particular that I needed to do. I started a musical on my tv and started picking up our dorm room. We had signed up for "Sooner Saturday" so we would be having groups of high schoolers come through for two hours and stare at our place while asking us random questions about OU. I hid my dirty clothes (I've been putting off cleaning for about 3 weeks now..) and was just reorganizing by books and stuff. I finished Phantom of the Opera and still had more to do, so then I started Moulin Rouge. I was still working on our room when my roommate entered the room and took a nap. That movie then finished and I felt like watching another one, so I decided on Bridget Jone's Diary. While this movie isn't the most wholesome, I absolutely love it and usually end up wishing I were British after I watch it (I'm not really sure as to why). It was getting late by now and I realized that I needed to drive to my friend's house across town and feed his fish since he was out of town. So I got to his house, fed his fish, and was just sitting on his couch. While I was doing all that I mentioned before, I had been thinking about how empty life can seem. As I was sitting on the couch, I was thinking about how life sometimes seems so mundane and scheduled. I'll make a chart for you

I don't know if you can read that too well. But I feel like we are brought up in school (especially college) to think of our future only being what job we will have and when we will get married with kids. And of course if you are a religious person, your center of worship will tell you what more you are living for. So I had all of these thoughts (basically questioning the purpose of life, I guess) and started looking at the painting he has made to decorate his room. I decided I should go to Walmart and get some canvas. I was going to paint what I was feeling. It was going to be abstract of course due to my very poor and underdeveloped drawing skills, but it would also allow me to represent symbolically how I felt and maybe I could make more sense of my emotions.

After gathering my supplies and changing into some paint clothes, I blasted my random music from my computer and painted. I was in a whirl of excitement and was feeling very creative. After digging around in my friends trash for various items, breaking pieces of an old mirror, painting with my fingers and some brushes, I finished my masterpiece 3 hours later. While I was painting, I decided what it would be titled and even put it on the painting itself. Its called "disiLLuSioNED". I've decided that's exactly what I have been dealing with for awhile now. But I don't think it is a negative thing, but sometimes very trying and exhausted. I will sometime post a picture of this painting, but for right now I just have the courage to write about it.

-Kristy