Exploring gender roles.

Disclaimer: Just in case you might have wondered....I am in no way reconsidering my sexual orientation. Thought I'd throw that out there (after a title like that, I didn't want you to wonder).



Throughout the summer, a joke within the staff developed in which I was deemed a feminist. This label was attached after an incident occurred on the ropes course during which I made a boy probably about fifteen years old cry after I corrected him. The guys on the ropes staff found this fact very amusing. I was then deemed a feminist and when situations would arise, I was teased about it. Sometimes after they would call me a feminist, I was taken back on how I may be more of a feminist than I ever realized.

One day a guy commented that it was girls like me that killed chivalry. I guess I would frustrate some of the guys by lifting heavier objects or starting a task while guys were just sitting around and could have done the task for me. I never thought of asking them; besides the job had to be accomplished anyway. The guys would often ask to help after I was already in the middle of completing the task when it would really just take more effort for me to stop, so for sake of simplicity I would just finish what I was doing.

For the first 11 years of my life, my younger brother by 2 years and I were the only children of my parents. Since I was the oldest, I seemed to be asked to do just as many chores as my brother Austin. In fact in some instances, like killing spiders, I had to man up and kill the things since I was the oldest. If Austin hadn't been scared of spiders, I probably would still be scared of them, but since we both were scared I conquered my fear and would kill them for the both of us. A common task in childhood was my mother often having Austin and I run into the grocery store with a check she had signed to pick up a couple of items. Once we would reach the checkout area, Austin was always too embarrassed to write out the amount on the check so this task always fell to me. Austin was always willing to have me do any tasks he did not want. I learned one day Austin not only passed off little jobs to me, he actually would find me after mom gave him a job and would tell me that mom told him to tell me to do the task he just was given.

I guess I just grew up never expecting a guy to ask to do a task for me. I generally see no reason why I could not do the task I was asked to do. I'm not amazingly strong for a girl, but I can hold my own in many instances. I probably count too much on this fact, which has lead me twice into fist fights: one in 3rd grade against my brother's friend and another this last Christmas when my brother Austin called me a b*@#@.

I remember being in middle school and realizing the academic subjects I liked were usually considered the "guy" subjects. This revelation happened during a middle school academic meet where I was completing in math. I was in the assigned room taking my math test (for fun I may need to remind you). I looked up because I was having to think about the problem and then I realized there were only 3 other girls in the room with about 35 guys. Math and Science were always my thing, unlike my best friends that really liked Reading and English.

I played sports growing up. My favorite was soccer, but our school system did not have soccer which left me playing soccer in our town's recreational league. Now, part of the reason I may have enjoyed soccer so much was the fact it was co-ed. I loved being really aggressive and stealing the ball away; I frustrated many boys this way which resulted in me being called wonderful names--in fact I was even called a boy by the opposing coach once. It was so funny how I could use being a girl to catch guys off guard toward the beginning of the games. As I got older, fewer girls continued to play; by the time I was in high school, I was the only girl still playing. My team thought it would be fun to play in a legitimate tournament, so we signed up for the event. We signed up for the guy's bracket since they did not have a co-ed league and as stated before I was the only girl anyway. I will never forget our game winding down and the next team showing up. It was a guy's team and could hear them on the side lines commenting on a girl being on our team. I stole the ball from a guy and the guy's team on the sideline started screaming for me. They were yelling, "you go girl" and random stuff. I thought it was so funny.

I was a bit of a tomboy growing up. I'll be the first to admit that. I just feel like society has placed me in such an awkward position. I found it throughly interesting that the guys this summer didn't want me carry things on my own, yet they seem to have no problem with me wanting to be a doctor which is a very male dominated field. These guys never felt they need to restrain any perverted comments about girls or themselves while I was around, yet when I decided to say something awkward as retribution the guys would protest.

When I was a child, I remember telling my mother I was going to marry a man that would cook and clean while I would watch Monday Night Football. I am certainly not the biggest girlie girl, but I do enjoy my romantic comedies and getting all dressed up for no reason. It seems that as long as I don't push my strength too hard, I can get by. Its when I do something (which apparently can be lots of things) that makes a guy no longer feel manly that I apparently am a feminist. I think my solution to the whole situation will be as follows: I am only going to hang out with real manly men that will be okay with me trying whatever as long as they are there to get me out of a jam, kinda like the girl with the Ninja Turtles.

-Kristy

Abstract becomes reality

I've already written about death a couple of times now. Generally when I hear/think of the concept of death, I try to convince myself I have a good grasp on the natural cycle of life and do not have have any form of the various death anxieties discussed in my philosophy class. On my drive to Falls Creek, I got a phone call from a girl from I live with at camp informing me of a death of a fellow staff member. I think I have a rather stoic response to death. I still keep thinking of this boy that is no longer with us. I keep remembering his wonderful smile and the white beanie his wore. I can't say I knew him too well. I was excited he was transferring to OU and he was amazing in jungle pong. He will greatly be missed. Don't have much else to say. I'll be thinking and praying for his family in the next days, weeks, and years to come. May we all be mindful of how precious and limited our lives are.

-Kristy