the paper

So, I've been settling down here in Norman and its been rather hectic. I've decided to go ahead and be pre-med so I have a rough and full reschedule ahead of me (which by the way any prayers for me though out this semester would not be underrepresented!!). This year I moved all of my stuff into the dorm room myself. I had everything moved in, rearranged to maximize space exactly as planned; then suddenly I had a roommate so we moved everything again! After shopping at Target, I was feeling especially collegiate carrying my 12 pack of toilet paper, listening to boomer sooner being played as I walked to my dorm room. I guess that sounds a little odd!

The first week of classes is always interning. There are always non-students around campus the first weeks telling you about this or protesting that. Monday I was given two papers like the one you see on my blog. The next morning I received one that was a little different. These little pamphlets are there to tell me how I could become a Christian. I don't think these are practical and simply almost a waste of time. Maybe I am just extremely cynical and hard headed, but I'm pretty sure if I was given a little post card size piece of paper telling me how to become a Muslim, I would not decide to become a Muslim after reading it. I think it would have to be a pretty profound stream of thoughts jammed together for it to have that large of an effect. If anyone knows of a conversion resulting from something like this, PLEASE tell me about it! I would love to know how it happened. I guess while analyzing myself as I'm writing this, maybe a bigger issue is that I don't see GOD in the everyday presence as much as I should. Whose to say that a person that this paper wasn't contemplating that very decision before the paper was given to them and the paper made them decide to commit. I guess I just think people should not bother handing these out. This situation reminds me a lot of the video called Bullhorn from Rob Bell's nooma series (its too late to explain all of the story....you can get a summery of here). Rob Bell's video visually progresses a story of a man taking a bullhorn out onto the street with the intention of telling people they need to convert and they are going to hell......you get the point.

One thing I have always loved about one of teaching of Jesus that has always stayed with me, is how he taught its the intentions that count. He told people that if they had anger in their heart, they have already committed murder. WOW!!! how powerful is that little statement. I think that one statement could produce an amazing bible.

So I guess my struggle is this. I see these people handing out stuff like these "tracks" as they are called and tell myself they must have good intentions. I wonder, however, if they are wasting their time on something instead of doing something more productive. In the end, I just need to stick with one of my favorite passages of the Bible (Matthew 7:1-6) and not judge them (especially so I won't be judged by the same standard ex. wasting my time like it says in Matthew) and pray that GOD may bless what they are doing. Any other suggestions? May we all find a different way we are being judgmental or intolerant and change that today!

-Kristy

Complete

So, I've been thinking a lot lately of my status of being single. Some of this was a result of people recently bringing this aspect of my life out into the open and discussing it. I have to admit at first it was sort of fun and flattering to have people saying "Kristy, you should meet ----" or "Kristy, you would get along so well with---" and other variations of the same sentiments. It was also interesting what I would say or do before these comments would be said. After awhile, I must say, it started bothering me. I was very confused for about a week as to why. I did have a lot of things on my mind (or maybe instead of things, it was more like an ongoing and complex thought that seemed just beyond my analytical thought process).

One day I realized that these comments were starting to bother me due to this resulting feeling of incompleteness. I guess it made me feel like people didn't think I was whole by myself; like I literally did need a better half as people often call their spouses. I don't know if that makes sense. But after being told I needed to meet this guy or start dating this guy, I felt like people were thinking I lacked something. This really conflicts my independent single woman front I try to display from time to time (with which I try to hide my hopeless romantic soul).

Recently, I have been telling my mother I will probably get married when I'm 30. This makes her pretty sad and perplexes her a bit as well (especially due to her dating life consisting of dating my father since 7th grade). I never think my mother does have any right to try to give me dating advise. I have more dating experience that she does (well at least I’ve dated more guys). But back to the 30 year old goal...I have two point for my rational of this approach.

1) So hopefully I won't be too focused on dating boys and lose my perspective.

2) if I get married later in life, it won't bother me (it's what I planned all along......lol) and if something happens earlier then great, it will be exciting.

One of my favorite nights this summer happened in the stafferteria after the tabernacle service. Somehow there were about 10 girls surrounding my boss asking him about dating, marriage, and all of that junk. Throughout the conversation he would constantly be challenging these girls' assumptions of all of them getting married and where God does want all of them to be married. I thought it was fun watching these girls looking like my boss just ripped their hearts out by saying such things. (I have a sneaking suspicion he also enjoyed this scene).

Once our curfew approached, we all then sat on a couple of beds still discussing this subject. I thought they all were going to cry themselves to sleep. I was pretty engrossed in the conversation as well. (I guess I am trying to sound all tough, but I am a pretty hard hopeless romantic at heart. I think my only difference is that I had thought about all of this before). As I was talking I putting something into words which I had felt for a long time but never really could express. I said something like "I think you have to reach a point in your life where you are complete in God before you can reach the starting point of the process of creating a health marriage".

I don't know if that is mind blowing to you, but as I said it I felt better about myself. As I said earlier, I was feeling just somewhat overwhelmed by the regular inferences to my single state and in my mind the fact that I have not had a boy friend for two years kept jabbing at my brain like a thin razor. After saying my quoted statement above, my mind started flashing through my struggles and issues I dealt with over the last two years. I feel like God has been shaping me and molding me a lot by showing me lots of my faults, (of course more than I would like to have known...) my passions, and my need for Him. So I don't feel bad about having been single for awhile now. And I really don't mind that I'm not married at this moment (just the thought of my recent ability to purchase alcohol cracks me up and makes me feel grown up, I can't imagine being married!!!). I think it all has been in His plan after all. Maybe one day I’ll get married, maybe I never will...but I guess the important thing is to be complete in God either way. And if my theory and all of those romantic comedies are true, now will be the time for me to find my man...when i'm not expecting it.

-Kristy

P.S. sorry its so long…I’ve been writing this one in my head for a while.