I wear my heart on my sleeve. My mother use to tell me that I'm like my father in that we both are a little oversensitive. I used to wonder if this was a blessing, curse, or fault I should work on eliminating. Over time I have decided to view this as a blessing with which I need to be mindful.Recently, In took a rather detailed personality test. They are a very interesting form of entertainment for me. The latest one is full of analysis as it talks about this personality trait in settings of various relationships. The type I got said a strength of mine is "They feel love and affection for those close to them which is almost childlike in its purity". I think this is pretty true about myself and why I consider my exposed heart a blessing.
Unfortunately, I am often hurt by situations and actions that other people would probably not be as upset about. I've learned to try to really evaluate my perceived wrong for awhile before acting upon it and seeming trivial about the situation.
I recently had one of these situations arise. I wanted to feel sorry for myself and throw pity parties for a couple of days. I escaped to Shawnee (I'm sure the people in Shawnee will laugh at that thought) this morning to get away from my haunting feelings of hurt which seemed to vanish slowly with my drive there. The lesson in Sunday School focused on forgiveness for a bit. I realized then that while I think the person may feel somewhat guilty, it is only me that is holding myself back. Once I decided during Sunday School that I would forgive this person, no longer did I feel those haunting feelings of hurt. I also sent a message to the person telling them I forgive them.
During the last two weeks, God has shown me that as I forgive others I am also ridding myself of bitterness. Another lesson occurred during a college service Tuesday night. I am usually rather cynical about this service, but once I decided to focus on God and not what little things I dislike, I was able to listen to God instead of my own negative thoughts.
I've been working on being a better me. I don't think I'll ever get to my ideal, but I can dying trying. I think its pretty easy to God to show us what to work on if we would only ask. The 3 things I've been working on faith, being complete, and patience. Good ones to work on I think.
-Kristy
