Politics

I once had great ambitions for and wholly unabated belief in my government much like James Stewart character in the great Frank Capra film Mr. Smith goes to Washington. I LOVED the thought of democracy and how every citizen counts. I remember the first time I voted in a presidential race. I was pretty naive about the candidates and choose who I remembered my parents talking about in our house. I voted for George Bush Sr. when my kindergarten class had an election at my grade school. If I remember correctly, he won overwhelmingly in our school when the results where announced on the intercom. I also have a couple random memories of President Clinton, his impeachment proceedings, and the infamous Al Gore's lock box analogy.

My first constant exposure with politics started when I was in middle school. I was on the academic team which meant I happily participated in spending some weekends on trips with my team to other schools to take hour long subject specific test, have them scored, and then award metals to the top three performances in each subject and grade. Yes, I was a nerdy child. I choose math as my subject and kind of liked being one of the few girls in the room taking the math test. I decided during my 2nd year on the team that I should participate in another subject, so I choose current events and started watching CNN all of the time.

I remember the first politician that caught my attention and it was Orin Hatch, a representative from Utah. He was vying for the Republican nomination for presidency in 2000. I don't remember exactly what I liked about him so much, but I do remember him talking about increasing teach pay, so maybe that's why I liked him. I was annoyed when George H W Bush gained the nomination. I also liked a man no one remembers now that ran for a Senate Seat in New York. I once again backed the wrong horse and saw the infamous Hilliary Clinton start her first term in the Senate. With my track record in politics it should be no surprise the one time I bet on a horse in a 12 horse run......you guessed it, my horse was the literal last horse to cross the line.

In high school I tried to be very up-to-date on all of the foriegn issues of our country. I completed for two years in speech and did an event called Foreign Extemporaneous Speaking which required a lot of knowledge of the current foreign events.

One of the first times I had a really mixed feeling about politics was when it was stated from the pulpit. Religion and Politics are scary thing sometimes. In some ways I think they are like oil and water, not mixing at all. The controversy of politics is how any issue really comes down to the fundamental beliefs and perceptions of the individual. If we say we love all of God's people and then preach against a "homosexual agenda" are we really showing love towards people? If we attend a church mainly composed of one ethnic group and have a preacher passing on ignorance and bitterness of another ethnic group are we uniting fellow believers of Christ?

While I don't think politics and religion can or should mix in this way, one can not deny a person's religious beliefs will influence their politics. What I have come to grow very weary of is a politician using their religion as a means to prove their morality or their worthiness. And then the media even claims a new faith for a candidate that has been a member of a different church for 20 years (I'm pretty sure on the number, but not 100%).

I am really anxious about this up and coming election. Our country faces some serious issues and I hate to see party push for its candidate by using some of George W Bush's antics of seemingly using his faith as a tool. Politics is a cut-throat, grueling activity. As it says in one of my favorite movies, "politics is perception". This is a pretty scary thought. I have a candidate this time that I am completely rooting for. If truth be told, I have cried twice listening to their speeches, being so moved. I see in them the things I want to believe and desperately hope for, but as the quote above suggest I yearn that this isn't just a perception I'm supporting. While I will be devastated if my candidate does not win, the funny thing about politics is after voting you just have to go along with the new president's decisions and hope in four years, you can vote for a person you do like and pray they win.

Sure, you all might say how pessimistic I'm being and how I can always write to my representatives, but after taking the time to write to two house members about a bill VERY directly effecting me, I saw them both not only voting against the way I wanted, but never receiving any type of response back ; not even a general automatic response of thanks for writing that is VERY easy to set up in an email account! I once greatly believed in the power of an individual's voice in our government and even had ambitions of running for office myself. That belief is almost all but diminished. I have one candidate I hope for. They wrote about the audacity of hope once and I want to believe them. I guess that is all I'm asking for. HOPE.

-Kristy

A somewhat constant part of my morning routine

I am NOT nor I imagine shall ever be a morning person. I despise getting up any earlier than 9:30 or so. As I lay in my bed most mornings contemplating how much longer I can hit the snooze button, I sometimes think how wonderful it would be to have a loving husband beside me. He would lovingly shake my shoulder and say, (without morning breath of course, because my husband won't suffer from any form of halitosis) "Honey, its time to get up."

After this scene plays out in my head, I think of needing to get married ASAP so I will have this wonderful person to help me get to class on time! Of course my proceeding though of marriage is all of the responsibility that would be added to my life and the need for myself to be a little more mature and stable. I conclude this dialogue in my head (by which I probably could have taken a shower and had makeup applied during all of this time instead of thinking) by resolving I need a more obnoxious alarm clock to get me up!

-Kristy

Cordiality and Civility

This is probably not a surprise to many of you, but I am not a person to bite my tongue. My love of literary figures like Jo of Little Women, Lizzy in Pride and Prejudice, Marianne of Sense and Sensibility are probably due to their rashness, intelligence, and frankness of tone. I am currently reading a book for my 19th Century Lit class called "The Mill on the Floss". Its starts with a wonderfully written impulsive, frank, little girl character named Maggie. From the beginning of her character's introduction, I have fallen in love with her. I feel like I am the same impulsive, strong opinionated little girl. All through my life, much like Maggie's continuing maturation through the book, I have struggled with learning the appropriate times to voice my opinions. Nothing can frustrate me more than to not have voiced my opinion in situations.

I naturally joined the debate team and throughly loved it. I befriended a very politically minded guy so we could have discussions on politics and other issues. I started blogging about 3 years ago. I have this seemingly very natural desire to have my thoughts known and discussing issues with others. I think this is a natural desire, but I wonder if I managed to develop a stronger need.

The idea of putting on airs or being completely cordial and civil all of the time is very repulsive to me. My great-grandma Irene (that I loved SO much) use to frustrate me to the end by nagging at us if we were not smiling, stating "There's no frowning at grandma's house". All of my life one of my main values of living is to be true, so it didn't seem right to me to being smiling while I was bored or annoyed. I always would fight fads and everything else I would deem as not me (however I define myself at that time).

I once had a very heated argument with my mother over an impression I apparently was giving off to a teacher. This teacher (that I was not even a student of hers) decided at the parent-teacher conference to disclose to my mother her suspicions of my boyfriend and I having sex. I was NOT nor never have had sex with him (or anyone for that matter) and was SO furious with that teacher. I still to this day would love to know her motives. My mother sat me down that night and told me what that teacher had said. My mother didn't seem to share in her suspicions, but cautioned me about my appearance. I was bent on proving my teacher was just an old judgmental hag and would hear nothing of how I might have caused this assumption.

This issue of appearances and judging is still a sticky problem in my mind. I try to just give the people the benefit of the doubt and not think of more than I could plainly see of any situation. I have never figured out a balance of frankness and cordiality. I am very easily self justified in saying exactly what I want to those I feel have wronged me. I like to think of myself as a nice person and whenever I am being nice there is never any catch or dubious reasoning behind my actions. What I struggle with sometimes is putting on that fake smile and acting pleasant for the sake of being cordial. While this is probably one of my faults, I also think my ability to stay true to myself is one of my perks. In summation I just have to keep looking for that balance and not show so much of my thoughts through my unconscious yet very obvious facial expressions.

-Kristy

Guns

There was an article in the student paper today about carrying guns. The question throughout the piece was whether students should be allowed to have concealed weapons on campus for protection due to the increase of school shootings. The pro-gun stance was of course they (the students with concealed guns) could protect us if a student started a shooting attack in the same classroom. Maybe I'm a little crazy, but I have a hard time believing this would carry more benefits than negatives. I'll admit I'm not too informed about citizens carrying around concealed weapons. I know that my roommate is very excited for her 21st birthday so she can get a license for carrying concealed weapons. What I do wonder about it whether the weapon is loaded when carried around. I really should hope not, but like I said I don't know much about these things. I just found the Oklahoma requirements for getting a concealed weapon license (the link is the official info). The minimum age is 21, but I did not see information about carrying the gun loaded or unloaded; but according to my roommate you would carry your gun loaded.

Now don't think I'm one of these prissy city girls that hates guns and the NRA. I've shot a rifle and I loved my bb gun I would shot in my backyard. In fact, I have killed with a gun; a rabbit about 30 yards away got a shot to the head once. I think people going hunting is a good thing. Sometimes I think people need to be reconnected with nature and what is a more masculine way for a guy to do that then hunt. I certainly know girls hunt (and if I ever find someone to take me, I want to go hunting), so don't think I'm not calling them masculine. This situation, however, is about the only way I am pro-gun. Showing my liberal bias now, I would love to see handguns being confiscated and make gun shows much more regulated. (Of course, I will acknowledge if some sort of law was enacted to outlaw handguns, the result would be much like our "war on drugs". Handguns would probably just get taken away from the responsible owners and people would just smuggle the handguns in from other areas to be sold on the infamous black markets of our country)

I just am shocked by the "logic" of people. They see a problem like school shootings and think the only way to solve it is to fight fire with fire and carry guns themselves. I see a huge problem with people assuming if they see a student with a gun on campus that the person has it for protection. The desensitization would be very counterproductive. I would have no problem calling the OU police every time on a person with a concealed weapon even if they were ever allowed on campus . I don't care if that person is carrying it for their protection, that gun on their person is not protecting me and in fact by its presence threatening me.

Once again, I just wonder at our nation's maladjustment pattern to big issues. We seem to never address problems full on and just take up side issues or short term solutions (like school vouchers, just pulling our troops out of a mess we created in other countries, mandating health insurance without first revolutionizing the corruption and inadequate coverage of the medical insurance companies). I pray that we find a way to stop these school shooting. I do believe people are good and just need help. Maybe all college students should be mandated to one counseling session per semester. Maybe we should have health screenings. I don't know. I do know that the answer is NOT more guns on campus.

-Kristy

PS. when I was trying to find gun statistics, I found this lovely little site. According to its logic, if I would become a doctor I would kill more people that guns...The site of course never thinks of how many of the patients the doctor treat would be from gun wounds.

Death!

Currently I am taking a philosophy class. I was really excited to start this class, partly due to my suspicion that I would love a topic whose sole topic is speculating about things that are unknown. I love to think about concepts and abstract things, so I thought this would be fun. The class was titled Philosophy and Literature with a description summery stating we would be reading literature and focusing on the philosophical nature of the stories. Thinking, Reading, and Discussion... some of my favorite activities! I arrive to the class and find all of the literature would be focusing on one theme: death.

At first I thought the rest of my Tuesday and Thursday afternoons would be depressing due to this subject being discussed for an hour and a half, but in many respects I've found it quite the contrary. The first book we read is The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Leo Tolestoy. While hating the main character at first, the story of Ivan grew on me and made me very conscience of my life, especially pertaining to the way it was being lived. In many ways after leaving this class, I seem to have a deeper passion for life and a fervor to be conscientiously insuring I am doing all that I deem necessary and good, because I could indeed die tomorrow.

During my first class session, my professor addressed some of the reasons for anxiety about death. One of my favorite things I have ever heard a person talk about was her discussion on the anxiety some experience over what could become of your body after you die. She was saying how this is a valid concern for many when thinking of death. She gave an example to illustrate a reason for the fear (which this was the best part). She said hypothetically she dies, her children decide to have her body preserved by a taxidermist, and then place her in the living room for display! (oh, I love the irony of a dead body in a LIVING room). Then years go by, my professor's children die and her preserved body is sold in a yard sale and she ends up in a frat house! I am laughing SO hard at this point with the visuals I have of a preserved body being in the corner of a frat house while crazy drunken frat boys are running all over the room. This is quite possibly one of the most disturbing yet hilarious thing I had ever heard. The horror of this situation is of course her helplessness of stopping it.

During this class I realized I am totally at ease with my mortality. This is probably due to this childhood fear I had of dying at the age of 16. This fear results from often being told often when I was young that I resembled my aunt Elaine that died when she was 16 in an accident. I guess it was just my childish logic, but I figured that since everyone told me I was so much like her I might meet an accidental death at the age of 16 as well. I never thought about this often; it was just something in the back of my head and apparently never told anyone about this until I mentioned it once in some conversation. Hope none of you think differently of my now...

As Christians we also talk about death, but it is much more in the context of the heaven afterlife we are promised. Once I started reexamining fundamental parts of Christianity according to different doctrines and common practice about 3 years ago, I've been stuck on the issue of heaven. I certainly do not agree with the "turn or burn" method of preaching I've seen occasionally. For one among other reasons, I don't think taking on the lifestyle of Jesus is based on staying out of hell, but bringing peace and as Brian McLaren says in The Secret Message of Jesus "a little piece of heaven to earth". I honestly don't know if I am certain there is a heaven after this life is over. I sometimes feel like people need this concept of heaven for a sense of comfort and a goal to work toward, like they need an ultimate reward for putting up with all of those trying people on earth and helping all of those sinners. I don't like the phrase of "earning my crowns in heaven" and others people mention while doing tasks they don't deem as pleasant or instantly rewarding. People are people, no matter their religious creed, race, or sex and deserve just treatment like everyone else. Sometimes I think that gets lost when just looking at the afterlife.

Just a couple more thoughts on death, then I'm wrapping this up (I promise). One interesting debate we had in the first days of class was how the belief in an afterlife can effect the way a person lives their life. If I don't believe there is anything after this life, I might be much more prone to do WHATEVER I deem fun, worthwhile, and needed. This freedom results in some ways from not worrying about punishment/justification aspect in the afterlife. On the other hand, a person that staunchly believes in an afterlife might have no problem dying prematurely (which another interesting concept I don't go into now) in an act of martyrdom. And of course the more normal example is the exact opposite of the first, a person denying themselves morally ambiguous activities (which could range from drinking alcohol, eating pork, having sex before marriage, smoking) to ensure their good standing in the afterlife.

I guess the great thing about this class is how deeply it makes a person look at the direction of their life and make sure it is one which they may not horribly regret. May we stop today and take a moment to be a little introspective, examining our lives to make sure we are living them to the fullest. May we never end like Ivan Ilyich in the conclusion of the book by realizing on our death bed we chased after the wrong things and missed out on what life really is about.

-Kristy

Hate

Hate takes a lot of energy. Maybe that's why we are told not to hate. I have always hated a certain holiday. I feel compelled to explain myself every time someone asks me why. Explaining that you don't like a day supposedly about love due to the commercialization and unimaginative ways its celebrated takes quite a while to convince them there is no bitterness rooted in that hate. In some ways I wonder if I'm being like the little kid that makes it a little too obvious that he "hates" the girl he in actuality likes quite a bit.

I am a hopeless romantic and have been for quite awhile, but I've developed a hard shell to possibly stop all of the hurt I've acquired being overly romantic. Today I decided I'm going to get rid of that hardened cynical shell and just have fun. Life is about experiences and sometimes those are getting hurt. And sometimes that hurt comes from letting someone close, but keeping people at a distance isn't the way to live. Just something I decided this morning. No more energy devoted toward a cultural phenomenon I can't stop. Just going to do what I deem appropriate. That's about it. May we all have the courage to do something we have avoided to keep us from hurt.

-Kristy

Poem

So, irony has always been my favorite form of literature. I'm sure lots of you may find it ironic that this zoology major has attempted to be poetic, so please don't be too harsh. I like it. Maybe you will too.


Colors
Anticipation, excitement
Like a bright bubbling pink
reminiscent of young girls
giggling loudly at their inside
joke being played on adults

Patience, waiting
feeling as dark as night
taught these are virtues
something to be conditioned
much like a monk content without food

Which emotion to indulge?
Which action to take?
Risk all prudence to go full speed
and potentially find lacking
Or endure the happy thoughts
and lay around for events to be put into motion

The answer must lie in between
Not in the pink or night black
Maybe in the green or yellow or even blue.
The unknown is frustrating.
The unknown is exhilarating.
The unknown is life.

Life is certainly full of colors!
Our lives must be dependent on how we use the colors.
Once dead, the remainder of our lives resembling a magnificent quilt
and hopefully not too many holes are present.


-Kristy